This is the week my life went to hell in a hand basket about 9 years ago when my mother passed away. I hate this week. Tomorrow is St. Nick and I cleaned all day to get ready to put my tree up. Did I? nope! Just can’t get into the mood. Maybe next week, I just hate this week too much.

Today, I just put my mind to cleaning my living room. Deep clean it I should say. See we heat our 6 bedroom house with only a wood stove. It takes a bit of trickiness to keep it warm but eh I save $600 a propane fill by heating it this way. And I refuse to donate to Bush’s retirement by buying anything oil related. My wood stove does just fine.

Sunday, hubby goes out to feed our rabbits and well one of our first rabbits died. Tulip froze to death! How I have absolutely no idea, they are quite protected but obviously not enough or she was possibly sick.

Saturday night we got hit with about 10 inches of snow in a matter of a few hours. I knew then my week was going to royally suck as I was about 20 miles from home and it was blizzard conditions when I decided to return home. We had a xmas party to attend and went in with a dusting of snow on the ground and exited with about 8 inches.

My husband bitched the whole way home. “you can’t make it through that” sure I can … WATCH. “You can’t go this way” sure I can … watch! Little Mr. Know It All hubby didn’t have to get out once to push or say “I told you so”, his little ass stayed nice and warm. Serves him right for telling me how to drive. Blizzard or not, nothing was stopping me from getting the hell out of the snobville xmas party we were at. I’d have ran over the pope just to get out of there.

Then this morning my lovely daughter took my two sons to school, did three 360’s with our van and came all of about 18 inches from taking out a $2000 telephone pole. Yes she ditched it!!! Then calls her soon to be ex husband (yes EX!!) to get her out, cause I was not about to go out to get her. He gets her she comes home then off she goes to have surgery on her foot, returns sits on couch, bitches how her foot hurts and tries to use her cell and that too took it’s last breathe. Yes she too is having a horrible day.

Is it Friday yet?

Have some family issues that are going on so I’ve not been around much, nor have I had time to read up on my blog’in buddies. Sorry! Just kinda have my hands full. Plus due to the stress I think my doc was right. I think I do have stomach ulcers. I’m going to give him a call tomorrow and ask for that medicine again. Never filled the first prescription was on the denial that at 36 I could have ulcers, but I do think he’s right. I’ve had three days in a row of attacks to the point I threw up for about 2 hours yesterday and today I feel all acidic.

Just wish everyone around here would understand that the way they act and the things they do affect my health and the health of everyone living here. Some days it’s like having my step-daughter living here again. Thank god she’s not cause I’d be committed or dead. But lately it feels just as stressful.

Anyways, enough of my whining.

I’m so sick of the every year September cold. The kind that knocks you on your @rse and kicks you in your grits! Yeah that kind of cold. I’ve been miserable all week. Last weekend I went through the 104 fever just kill me before I hang myself and anyone that talks to loud around me weekends. This week I went through don’t talk to me I’m pissy cause I can’t hear, my throat hurts, my ears feel like I’m trying to hear you from under 6ft of water. Then there are those ignorant ones who say “oh how you feeling, I’m sorry!” Yeah right you sorry excuses for human beings, you don’t care, you don’t give a rip if I’m sick or not! Then there are the friends (Peg, Jim, the other Peg, Rebecca) yeah you know who you are, the real friends that give a rip. Or they’re just silently thinking she’s better off dead!

Anyhoo, I’m sick your sick we’re all sick! Let’s be happy together!

Well who the hell know’s really? eh?

My sister just recently had her [tag]gallbladder[/tag] out, my other sister suffered for years with colitis and now finds out it’s because her large intestines never attached appropriately at birth. Come onnnnnnnnn puhleeze, it takes 52 years to figure this out? WTF?

Now my 19 year old [tag]daughter[/tag] calls me at 6 am crying she’s in pure pain and agony. First goes to ER gets medicated then gets sent home. Not shocking that’s our idiot hospital. Less than an hour later she’s again in pure agony. So I lay her in my bed throw my hubby’s moisture heating pad (this thing ROCKS!!) and tell her to lay on it. I call the surgeon and they get her in at 3pm to only tell her she needs her gallbladder taken out? Well now that’s two … yes two! And what have I thought are my issues … yup gallbladder.

I am so going to go eat all the nasty ass foods that set mine off and take myself right to the ER … flakes or not at least they didn’t prescribe her “ulcer” medication like my doctor did.

So what do you think hereditary or just coincidence?

Ever get so down in the dumps that you can’t even stand to look at yourself in the mirror?

That’s exactly how I feel. I’m struggling even to be online. My head has been a constant throb with this heat. I do nothing but sleep lately. Not sure what’s wrong with me. I can’t even go out and eat. I went today with my best friend, she treated me and the boys to pizza hut. I came home and have been dead to the world on the couch ever since. My stomach in such knots that I feel nauseous and I feel like my stomach is totally distended. I wish I could figure this shit out. Its’ only with certain foods.

My friend did give me a compliment that she noticed I’ve lost [tag]weight[/tag]. I didn’t think anyone would notice but I have … I have officially lost 10 lbs. Just by cutting out the pepsi and drinking only diet Lipton’s green tea. I haven’t changed anything else in my diet so it’s got to be it.

On a happy note … our Fawn [tag]Flemish Giant[/tag] gave birth today. So far I can see 3 baby Fawns in her nest box. I hope with the heat we don’t loose any. I’m going to maybe bring her in. Keep her cool and those babies comfy. The [tag]weather[/tag] is I swear 200% humidity. When is this shit ever going to end.

Anyways, off to sulk on the couch, I can’t stand the pain and sitting her makes me want to throw up more!

Having to leave for a funeral today and I’m not real fond of the idea. My 1st cousin, age 37 died after having heart surgery. She had muscles on her heart burned away that caused irregularities in her heart beat. She went through the surgery fine but when they went and pulled all the cath’s out, they tore her main artery. She basically bleed to death.

Its really sad she was so young and a mother of 3 small boys all under age 12. She was the core to her family. My aunt died about 10 years ago and was a very strong woman. Shawn held that family together since her death. I don’t know how the boys are all going to handle her passing. They sound strong when talking to them but I don’t know.

Several years ago my brother passed away in 1995, he committed suicide. My uncle passed shortly after from a blood clot in his leg. Then in 1998 my mom unexpectedly passed away from a heart condition nobody knew she had. And again, three months later my grandmother passed. So for awhile there it seemed all I did was get dressed to go to a funeral to see my family away. I’m not prepared nor want to go to this one either. She was a wonderful person helped everyone at anytime. Especially if she knew you were having a party. She was the first to step up and say, I’ll be there early and help you cook or bake or whatever. The woman was a fantastic cook. We were going to give her a call for my daughter’s wedding this summer to have her make up her famous shredded beef.

For me this really hits home, she’s 37 I’m turning 36. It could be me next. I really need to get my health in order, I’ve let it go as of late. I know I have some serious issues going on but avoid the dr because I’m afraid of what I’m going to find out. I think after this I need to buck up and go in and really find out what’s going on!

Anyways, off to pack and head out. Its a 4 hour drive down there. My sister is already there with her family and Dad is just waiting for me to get there so we can head out to the wake together.

“Sweet Dreams Shawn, we’ll miss you!”

Its been awhile since I posted but I’ve not been feeling all too well.  Got bitten by a spider which took me out for a bit.  That thankfully to a Urgent care dr is much better and I’m on the mend. 

As for the rest, well nothing major just a lot of things going to hell in a handbasket and just needed some time away so I’ve been flying solo behind the scences. 

Hubby is do home the end of this week and let me tell you I am going on a much needed disappearance / hiatus.  I’m wore down, I’m tired, I just don’t care for much lately not even myself as I hardly get out of bed unless to work and even then I do it from bed most days.

This last week I’ve cleaned all my carpets with some EO’s that make the house smell lovely.  Was sick of lemongrass so I did some playing around.  My favorite is my marmalade mix that I use for my soaps.  Makes the house smell like a midsummer morning just after making orange juice.  The other is straight lime.

I’ve also painted my livingroom FINALLY.  I added about 28g of Lemon Puker FO to a gallon of paint.  WOW it’s 3 days later and I can STILL smell the FO.  Its amazing!!  Been thinking of making a few bottles for my fall fair to resell as carpet refresher’s or something.  Mix it with a bit of ps20 so it blends with water nicely and the customer has a nicer way to refreshen carpets when carpet shampooing them.

Virtual schooling for the kids also started which has taken up most of my days.  Its hard belive me just by myself so I will be elated when Noel is home and can help.

anyways, it’s 2:46 a.m. and I’m exhausted.  Ta for now!

Beginning of summer I weighed in at 215 that’s only 40 lbs overweight for my height.

I started increasing my vitamins & water intake, plus eatting real small portions 5 times a day and I’m already down to 190 since beginning of June. Not bad if you ask me!

So now I’m pumped! Its 9 a.m. and I already have two 20 oz containers of water down. now to eat breaky.

I’m so excited I actually might loose this thyroid hell of weight I’ve gained!

I just love this fair.  I get so much local feedback.  My new labels got huge raves.  Just need to increase the printable text size just a bit.  The older generation still has a bit of a problem reading the labels.  I feel like I’ve had a renewed interest in soaping.

I have two boxes to prepare now.  One to my best friend in Georgia (yes, Terri your box is coming) and my other best friend Trish (no, didn’t forget about you either!).

On a health note, I got severely dehydrated during this fair.  I think a week long of stress preparing for the fair and then 100+ degree weather ontop of it didn’t help.  Its thursday today and I finally now felt like updating my blog.  Just been working online and sleeping.  That’s about it.

Yesterday, after finishing in Oshkosh, we went up to Marshfield to see the Dr’s for hubby. They want him to go through a Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program for 4 days a week for 4 weeks. Not sure all the details yet, but it means he’ll be down there 4 days a week and I’ll have to travel down to get him and bring him home and back each week for four weeks. NOT what I want to be doing, but it’s necessary for his health. Hopefully, they can find a program up here for him to complete but not counting on much as Door County sucks for health care.